


What Is Worth? (College AU)

by propertyofpoeandbucky



Series: Bucky Barnes Oneshots [32]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, mentions of depression and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky
Summary: Bucky Barnes has taken a liking to you, but you don’t feel worthy of his affection. Why? Because you have issues and you’re not so sure how to solve them just yet.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & You, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/You
Series: Bucky Barnes Oneshots [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180304
Kudos: 13





	What Is Worth? (College AU)

You hung your head down as you weaved in and out of the groups of people on campus. Music blared through your ears and you made your way to the library. With the loud beat of Imagine Dragons’ “Believer” pounding in your ears, you couldn’t hear the campus hottie, Bucky Barnes, calling your name. It wasn’t until he made you turn around that you noticed him.

You paused your music and pulled your earbuds out, “Can I help you?”

Bucky was panting, “Yeah. I was calling for you, but now I see why you didn’t hear me. Anyway, I tried getting a hold of you last night. But you didn’t respond.”

_**Barnes:** Hey :)_

_**Barnes:** You busy?_

_**Barnes:** Wanna hang out?_

_**Barnes:** I have a pizza with your name written all over it. ;)_

“Sorry, I was busy studying.” You mumbled. You weren’t actually. You were sleeping the day away because you just couldn’t manage to focus on school work at that moment.

“Oh, that’s fine. How about later today?”

You shook your head and turned your back to him, “Can’t.” You began to walk away and he caught up to you.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You can tell me anything, ya know.”

“Just going through some stuff,” you muttered.

Bucky was disappointed with your answer, but let it go nonetheless, “Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll let you study then.”

Bucky walked away giving you one more glance worry filling him.

You sighed as you entered the library and headed towards the very back corner. You set your books and notes on the table and began to work. However, mid-way, you started to cry.

You really liked Bucky, you really did. He was sweet, kind, funny, charming, and not to mention very good looking. You just didn’t feel worthy of him. You were struggling. You were insecure, scared of intimacy, you had anxiety and depression, you were on meds, and you were going through therapy. You believed that someone like you shouldn’t be with someone like Bucky. You had too many problems going on and you didn’t want to put Bucky through that. So when you realized that you really liked Bucky, you started to push him away. 

You stopped replying to his texts. You always gave him short replies when he talked to you. You always gave excuses when he asked to hang out. You just couldn’t do it. You didn’t want to hurt him in the end, so you had to save your feelings to save his. 

You didn’t feel like you deserved his affection or any affection at all.

* * *

Later in the day, Bucky walked up the stairs lugging a bunch of stuff into the hallway and towards your door. He gave a defeated sigh as he set the things down and knocked on your door. It opened to reveal you with messy hair and red eyes. You were definitely crying. 

Bucky picked up the stuff he brought and dragged them into the room.

“W-What are you doing?” You asked with a raspy voice.

“Whatever you’re going through, I wanna help.”

“Bucky, I don’t-”

“Yes, you do. I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t do this alone. I care about you, Y/N. A lot. So,” he started pulling things out of bags, “I bought a ton of stuff that might help you.” He started taking out bags of popcorn, small tubs of ice cream, chocolate, potato chips, movies, books, some cds, a laptop, a polaroid camera, blankets, pillows, and more.

“I can’t believe this,” you muttered.

Bucky looked up at you smiling, “Well, believe it, sweetheart. I miss seeing you smile so I figured this was a start.” You couldn’t help but softly smile. Bucky winked at you and then stood up, “I forgot something in my car. I’ll be right back. Feel free to look through everything. They’re all for you anyway.” 

You nodded and knelt to the ground as Bucky exited your dorm. You looked through the cds and they were all compilations of songs it seems he made. One read “For when you’re sad”. Another read “Homework/Study Time”. Another read, “When I’m with You”. That one made you curious. You took Bucky’s laptop and opened it. It unlocked immediately and you were surprised to see that his background was a candid picture of you. You shook your head and inserted the cd and Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are” started playing. As you listened to the song, you couldn’t help but cry. Bucky truly cared about you and liked you.

You heart Bucky grunt and you turned towards the door to see him lugging in a huge teddy bear that was almost as big as you. He set it on your bed and gestured to it, “Cuddle buddy.” He then noticed you listening to one of the cds, “Oh! Which one are you listening to?” You handed him the case and he smiled, “This was my favorite to make.”

“Why?”

“Well all the songs-”

“No, I mean why me? You could have anyone at this school and you continue to choose me. I don’t understand.”

“You’re special, Y/N. You’re smart, funny, kind-”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Why?”

Tears began to fall from your eyes, “Because I’m broken, Bucky.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked as he knelt beside you.

“I’ve got problems. Problems I don’t want to bring you into. I have depression and anxiety. I’m insecure and scared. I’m not worthy of you.” You stood up and threw yourself onto the bed sobbing into your pillow.

Bucky’s heart broke as your muttered sobs filled the air. He stood up and sat at the edge of the bed. He pulled you up and held you in his arms, “I don’t care about those things. I mean, I do, but in a way that I want to help you get through them. I want to be by your side, Y/N. I want to show you that you don’t have to be afraid. That you are worthy of me. That I want this. I want us.” Bucky pulled back and wiped the tears that cascaded down your face, “I really, really like you, Y/N. Flaws and all. And now that you’ve told me this, it just makes me fall for you even more. Because you’re so strong. You’re incredible, Y/N.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “How are you even real, Bucky Barnes?”

Bucky smirked, “Well, see, when two people love each other very-” 

You slapped his chest laughing, “That’s not what I meant!”

Bucky smiled wide, “There’s that laugh.”

You sofly smiled and leaned over hugging Bucky, “Thank you. It’s going to take a lot for me to open up to you. I hope you know that.”

Bucky wrapped his arms around you hugging you back, “I do and I’ll be here every step of the way. You’re worth all of my time, Y/N. I promise you that.”


End file.
